


you can't take back the things you said

by ofasingle_rose



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Mutually Unrequited, drunk! Penelope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26206180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofasingle_rose/pseuds/ofasingle_rose
Summary: A drunken Penelope finds herself at Schneider's apartment. Shit happens.
Relationships: Penelope Alvarez/Schneider
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	you can't take back the things you said

**Author's Note:**

> so i dont really know what this is😂 hope you enjoy it anyway

She’d really taken him by surprise.

Showing up on his doorstep, dressed in a little black dress that was trying its hardest not to ride up her thighs.

Penelope looked like she’d come to his door with a purpose. Lustful eyes. Her lips caught between her teeth. Schneider had done his best not to stare.

She didn't even let him finish his greeting before breathlessly calling his name and pulling him in for a kiss.

She hadn’t given him any time to think, so what else could he really do...other than kiss her back?

It was intoxicating in the gentlest of ways. Like drinking chamomile tea during a thunderstorm. Or that merciful gulp of air after almost drowning.

He was confused but he let himself enjoy it. Nobody could really blame him for that, could they?

He buried his hands into her hair and gently bit her bottom lip. She let out a moan and as soon as she did he took the advantage to deepen the kiss.

It was then when he realized she tasted just like a margarita mixer.

He quickly pushed her away. Mentally berating himself.

_ Shitshitshit. Of course. Of course she was drunk. _

“What’s wrong?” she asked. Her voice higher and sweeter than he’d ever heard it.

She was truly a sight to behold. Her eyes bright and dazed. Her hair, a mess of curls. Her breathing coming in short little pants. Her red lipstick starting to smudge across the right corner of her bottom lip.

Seeing her like that made him feel even more ashamed.

“You’re drunk,” he said. Angry at himself for not seeing it a lot earlier.

“I know.” She smiled sweetly at him. He’d seen that smile countless times before. It was his biggest weakness when it came to her. 

“Pen, this is not okay.” 

“Sure it is,” she said, pulling him closer again, grabby hands making their way under his shirt. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You’re drunk,” he repeated. Sternly. Grabbing her hands tightly to keep them from roaming any further.

“So?” she giggled. Making the butterflies in his stomach flutter even more erratically than they already were.

“Jesus Pen, I refuse to take advantage of you like this.”

“You’re not taking advantage,” she said, pulling her hands away and pushing him against the wall. “I'm asking.”

She began to lazily place kisses under his jaw. He swallowed thickly, forcing himself to keep some semblance of control.

“Pen,” he insisted. “We can’t.”

“Sure we can,” she insisted right back. Not backing down in the slightest. He could feel her hot breath along his Adam’s apple and  _ god if it wasn’t doing things to him _ . “It’s easy. I kiss you, you kiss me, we take off our clothes, I kiss you some more. It’s not like you haven’t suggested it before.”

At this he flinched. Past words coming back to haunt him in the worst way. He had to take back control of the situation and fast.

“Right, right. And then your family comes back to murder for breaking your trust in a vulnerable state. And rightfully so. I wouldn’t blame them in the slightest.”

“You’re being dramatic,” she lilted against his ear. Gently pulling at it with her teeth.

“Please stop.” He wasn’t above begging. “Please, please stop.” His voice a broken whisper. His entire body shaking with restraint.

At this she finally showed some concern. “Do you… do you really not want this?” She seemed sad and very very embarrassed. 

It tore his heart apart. “God Pen. I do. I do. You know I do. You’re...” he stopped himself. Afraid of his own admission.

“I’m what?” she asked, genuinely curious. Doe eyes looking up expectantly at him. 

He stared down at his shoes, knowing he wouldn't be able to get the words out had he been looking at her. 

“You’re _ everything.  _ Everything, you understand? Every fucking good part in life. Which is why this,” he gestured back and a forth between them, “can’t happen. At least not now. Not like this.”   


“Oh,” she breathed out. 

“I just… I don’t want you to regret this in the morning or to think that it wouldn’t mean anything to me. ”

“ _ Oh.”  _ She let go of him. As if touching him burned her. Tears started to form in her eyes. Her bottom lip trembled. 

“Oh,” he agreed. An anxious knot forming in the deep pit of his stomach. 

“Do you mean that?” she asked. The first tear making its tortured way down her cheek. 

“Pen,” he sighed. Defeated. “I would never lie to you. Not after I've worked so hard to gain your trust back.”

She nodded. Mostly to herself. Taking the time to carefully process his words. 

Without the extra support of holding onto him she had to take a seat on his couch to keep from swaying too much. 

“Ughhh,” she groaned, burying her head in her hands. “I’m such a frickin idiot.”

He sat down on the coffee table, right in front of her. They sat down in an awkward silence for what felt like an eternity. Neither having the courage to speak up or look each other in the eye. 

He decided to offer his hand in comfort. A white flag amongst all the hurt and awkward. She smiled sadly, as she entwined their fingers together.

“Schneider I love you,” she blurted out. “You have the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen.” Her voice was still sweet with liquor, but it was a lot more steady and serious than he’d heard it all night.

He let out a little defeated laugh at that. “Pen… I’ve been in love with you since the first time you laughed at the possibility. And you’ve made it very clear over the years that you just think of me as a friend and I’ve never really had a problem with that.”

Her bottom lip trembled. Tears were now freely running down her face.

“I love being your friend,” he continued. “And I’m glad I get to spend as much with you as I do, so please don’t feel like you have to force yourself to return those feelings. I know drunk you is very emotional right now.”

“I’m not lying though,” she whined. Sobs wracked her body as she got out her confession. “I love you. I have for a while now. I love you almost too much and I’m very sorry for doing this drunk. I’m sorry I made you feel like this wouldn't have meant anything to me.”

Schneider didn’t know what to say, so he simply pulled her into a tight embrace and let her cry into his chest. She cried and she cried and she cried. Hiccuping a million apologies in between. Schneider could do no more than hug her tighter and rub small circles into her back until she calmed down.

“Did I just ruin things between us?” she lamented.

“No,” he assured her. His tone was dead serious. “If you could stick with me through rehab and the most painful breakup of my life, I can surely stick with you through this.”

He knew this to be true. He knew he would support her through anything and everything and that she’d return the favor right back. But he also knew that it would be different going forward. He knew they would never be able to go back to the way they were before tonight. 

No more playful banter. No more late night talks. No more family dinners where the kids said something funny and they’d share a look. 

At least not without the looming threat of something more. Not without “ _ you’re everything”  _ and “ _ I love you almost too much _ ” ringing at the back of their minds over and over like a broken record. 

There would be no more toeing around the line that they both had agreed upon for so long.

He wasn’t sure either of them was ready for that. 

“Schneider?” she murmured sleepily into his soaked shirt, pulling him back from his thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Pen.”

Usually they didn’t have to say it. It was always something they expressed through actions rather than words. Like Schneider sending her pictures of dogs in wigs whenever there was the slightest hint of her being a little too stressed. Or Penelope saving him a seat at the dinner table every day no matter how much she ‘complained’ about it. 

For some reason, however, Schneider felt like he had to get out all the _ I love yous _ he possibly could before she fell asleep.

Maybe because a small part of him kind of hoped Penelope would forget about all of this. To chalk it all up as a drunken dream and continue about her life unburdened with the knowledge of his true feelings for her.

It wouldn’t even matter to him if he ended up having to repress his feelings once more. He could handle loving her from a distance. He’d done it for years. It didn’t even matter if he now knew those feelings might be reciprocated…

“I love you,” she said. Again and again and again.

And each time his answer was always the same. “I love you too.”

“I love you.” Until she fell asleep.

“I love you.” As he carried her into his bedroom.

“I love you.” As he tucked her in.

“I love you.” As he allowed himself one brief moment of weakness and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“I love you.” As he turned off all the lights and made his way to the couch.

“I love you.” As he cried himself to sleep. He knew deep in his heart that tomorrow would be hard whether she remembered or not.

“I love you.”


End file.
